I am positive the conspiracy to my origin often encountered upon meeting people has everything to do with a worldly disposition and being in a multicultural marriage. From my first trips to Italy in my childhood to starting my life in Europe after university, how you carry yourself is affected by your experiences abroad and the nuggets of international etiquette learned. Besides travel, my Italian grandmother, excessive reading and old Audrey Hepburn movies taught me everything I know about being a woman of the world. Effortless elegance is rooted in being mindful, confident and a creature of habit. Here are some basics to the modern jetsetter etiquette and cultivating your own joie de vivre.

TRAVEL ETIQUETTE

1. Always dress to travel like it’s a privilege and occasion (it is).
2. Invest into a luggage set and passport holder you’re proud to take around the world. And of course have all embroidered with your initials.
3. It’s perfectly OK to wear sunglasses, a scarf, and a hat in the airport if you are sensitive to crowds. Cozy privacy helps.
4. Learn to say hello, please and thank you in the language of every country you visit out of courtesy and respect for the culture. Kindness speaks the rest.
5. Read a novel set in the location before you visit. It provides multitudes more cultural understanding – and empathy – over any travel guide.
6. Do basic research on local cuisine and dishes and jot down the ones you want to try in your notebook or iPhone notes. For the sake of manners and an authentic travel experience, under no circumstances go to destination and expect them to cater to what you eat at home.
7. When flying coach, middle person gets both armrests. No exception.
8. Always unpack your suitcase upon arrival. Hang up your clothes. Organize your things. Spray fabrics and linens with lavender spray. Create a little home, even if it’s home for only a few days.
9. Greet acquaintances with a kiss on the cheek (right cheek to left cheek). One kiss in New York and two in London. Before being acquainted, a handshake.
10. If you can afford it, tip anyway.
11. Always stand to the right in queues (especially in the UK. They will combust from the change in order).
12. If you are American, you must accept people smoking around you and a lack of ice cubes. You will survive, I promise.
13. Travel lounges and business class are your best friend, and both worth every dollar.
14. Be humble, Americans, don’t expect the whole world to bow down or reciprocate your outward friendliness. Culture differences exist and it’s OK. We are guests.

WARDROBE

1. In business, first appearances always matter. You can never be overdressed.
2. Save black for femme fatale evening wear… or funerals. City girls will loathe me for this, but believe in color.
3. Invest into handbags, shoes, accessories and dresses. Head to Zara for the rest. Nothing is more fashionable than a budget and healthy bank account.
4. When wearing a dress, practice the duchess slant while sitting to avoid anyone seeing up your dress.
5. Dress appropriately for the occasion and always keep function in mind.
6. Never underestimate the power of hats and statement earrings. Embrace them.
7. When in northern Europe, always wear pantyhose with dresses.
8. Yoga pants and athletic wear is for the gym. Another hard lesson to learn, but yoga pants must not be a pillar of your wardrobe.
9. Identify your signature colors and styles that flatter your figure best. Invest into those; ignore trends.
10. Embrace the art of creating a capsule wardrobe. It’s essential to every frequent traveler and jetsetter.
11. Find a heel height and type that is comfortable and works with your style. A heel is always an unspoken power (as are the Chanel backup flats in your handbag).

DINING

1. When drinking wine, hold it in your non-dominant hand so you can always offer a dry handshake. Always hold it at the stem.
2. When drinking from a cup or glass, always sip from the same spot.
3. Never put your purse or clutch on the ground (it’s horrible luck in many cultures). Either set it on a chair next to you or in the space between your back and the back of the chair.
4. When hosting guests, never allow them to clean up the dishes or help. They should be relaxed, at ease.
5. When drinking tea, hold the top of the handle with your thumb and index finger. Pinkies out should not exist anywhere, and contrary to popular American beliefs, it’s not proper.
6. Always hold the fork in your dominant hand and knife in your non-dominant hand (typically fork right, knife left), without switching between bites. Place fork and knife diagonally across plate when finished with your meal.
7. Never announce your need to use the WC at a table, simply say excuse me.
8. Never discuss politics at the dinner table.
9. Learn the art of winemaking and consuming (excellent excuse for France, Italy or Napa visits) and savor drinking it; of course, never go beyond your limits.
10. When dining, fold your napkin in half with the crease facing you. Wipe inside the fold to avoid a lipstick-stained napkin or any mess getting onto your clothing.

SELF-CARE

1. Joie de vivre. Discovering it and cultivating it for a lifetime is the key to living a romantic life.
2. Celebrate privacy. You nor your vacation is a slave to social media – no matter how entwined your career is to it. Take regular detoxes without explanation.
3. Read the Sunday newspaper to catch up on world affairs and save the rest of your reading time for books. It does wonders for the mind to filter the noise.
4. From the way you order your coffee to your PM skincare routine, everything in life is an art. The sooner you realize that, the sooner life will become magic.
5. Make your exercise regimen travel-friendly; being abroad is no excuse to not give one hour to your body daily.
6. Never complain about your weight. Identify your goal weight / physique, apply discipline and achieve it. If you gain three kilos abroad, appreciate the opportunity to eat like a king and don’t fuss. You’ll bounce back in a week.
7. Make your sleeping routine a religion and leave phones outside the bedroom. Never underestimate the power of a good night’s rest.
8. Check your bank account every single morning. Taking charge of your finances and strategizing wealth is self-care.
9. Download podcasts and audiobooks to listen to on planes, trains and transit. They make great additions to your mind and playlists.
10. Always maintain good posture and walk with chin parallel to the floor. Even if this means breaking slouching habits, do it
11. Habits and rituals play a large role in daily happiness. Make a point to cherish them both at home and abroad.
12. Always keep your mind challenged with a new language. Life is short not to master (or at the very least, flirt with) as many as possible.
13. Treasure time at home, and fill home with worldly treasures. It’s important to have roots and wings.
14. Journal every morning. It’s a precious capsule of memories, growth and gratitude.
15. Whether at home or a hotel room, tidy up and organize your spaces (and purse) every day.
16. Learn to say no thank you without guilt. Your energy is finite and precious.
17. Drink two liters of water daily (without exception).
18. Love yourself.
    

SOCIAL

1. Always send hand-written thank you cards.
2. Flowers are appropriate for funerals, condolences and your own home. It took me long to learn this lesson, but a small thoughtful gifts always go further than the generic gesture of blooms.
3. Invest time into charities and causes dear to your heart. Include philanthropy in your career plans.
4. If you have a habit of forgetting names mere seconds after people tell you, be accountable for the very common weakness and conquer it.
5. Always maintain eye contact in conversations.
6. Save political conversations for the appropriate occasions, but don’t shy away from politics. It’s more important than ever to stay educated and use our voices.
7. Introduce yourself first name and last name. Unless you are Oprah or the host of the event.
8. Always accept compliments with a simple thank you.
9. Stay well-versed in world affairs and pop culture. You should be able to hold a conversation anywhere in the world.
10. Speak proper English. Save contractions and American language crimes for friends.
11. If you want a better manner of speaking, watch old Hollywood films. If you crave better vocabulary, read as often as possible.
12. Always hold yourself to Elenor Roosevelt’s timeless wisdom: Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

BEAUTY

1. Use Rosehip Oil on your face; it’s a Vitamin C bomb and even royals are known to use it for its under-the-radar brightening effects.
2. Have 3-5 signature and simple hairstyles that aren’t just hair down or ponytail. I alternate between a blow out, low messy bun and a thick french braid (all done at home). Leave a comment or shoot me an email if you want guides on this.
3. Stick to nude or neutral polish. You can’t see the chips, doesn’t clash with outfits, and it’s easy to maintain.
4. Don’t leave the house without sunscreen on your face.
5. Embrace your natural hair color and play with highlights and lowlights depending on season. Going from blonde to brunette or vice versa is a sure symptom of a life crisis (been there). Deal with your crisis’ with girlfriends and leave your hair out of it.
6. Hands are the first to show signs of age. Applying hand cream multiple times a day is wise.
7. Have two makeup routines: day and night. Day should take no longer than 10 minutes.
8. Moisturizer isn’t only for your face. Make it a religion to put on body lotion after the shower.
9. Know your essential oils. Pack tea tree oil in your makeup bag; it’s the sure cure to any blemish on the skin. Lavender Oil helps with relaxation and jet lag.
10. Sleep on a silk pillowcase; it does wonders for hair and skin health.
11. If you have long hair, always sleep in a braid or double braid to prevent hair damage from tossing and turning.
12. A proper skincare routine is always priority over makeup and cosmetics. Invest accordingly.
13. Have a signature summer scent and fall scent. Mine are both via Christian Dior: Miss Dior (spring/summer) and Hypnotic Poison (fall/winter).
14. Choose a signature lip color and stick to it.
15. Blush and bronzer (depending on the season) are your best friends.
16. Throw away foundation forever. Concealer is enough. Be proud of freckles.