I’m currently sitting beside the fireplace, writing this lovely bit in our cottage after a quite windy, quite wondrous two-hour drive through backroads of Lake District. My stomach still tossing about from the curves, blind turns and the deep awe of all the unexpected beauties stored into memory today. This is very much how my 20s have felt thus far. On the eve of my 29th birthday, I’m confidently stepping into the last year before 30 with the same trusty compass I’ve always followed: a heart that knows exactly what it wants.

The drive was undoubtedly an ample amount of time, in combination with little jots in my iPhone notes over the year, to reflect on grand bits of lessons now in my rearview mirror (I shall make no further metaphors or rhymes for the rest of this article). Without further adieu, the little laws and insights of my nearly 29-year-old mind and heart (who collectively agree on each of these matters, a remarkable phenomenon which happens with age) with no particular order of importance:

1. Speak, walk and act with an unshakable calm. This comes as you grow older, but learning the art of response over reaction is a wondrous strength.
2. Stand high above political opinions. When those conversations do arise, offer insightful questions rather than your personal views.
3. Questions are more powerful than answers.
4. Invest only into what is absolutely exquisite to you or educates you. Save the rest for real estate, assets, books and your savings account.
5. We are all born with a great gift. The greatest pivot in life is not the discovery of it, but the realization that it’s your duty to give it back to the world.
6. Savor the art of personal communication. In an overly connected disconnected world, nothing brings more joy to the heart than a long phone call, handwritten note or thoughtful gift. Give and receive (and always use signature stationery, as life is too short not to.)
7. When it comes to household linens, white is always the answer.
8. When your career reaches a certain point of comfort, make philanthropy a pillar of it.
9. Shoes should always marry comfort with style (and arch support). Pay the price for it.
10. Self-care is far beyond the narrative we’re told. It’s a religious morning routine. It’s iron-clad boundaries. It’s discipline. It’s consistency. It’s privacy (gold). It’s a growing savings account. It’s zero-allowance for toxic humans. It’s time with your inner child. It’s rising up to that gift you have.
11. A woman should always have a good tailor, shoe repair service and dry cleaner in her contacts.
12. Displaying wealth is the difference between Americans and the English. Learn from the English.
13. A religious skincare routine, water bottle and healthy sleeping patterns are immeasurably more potent than any anti-ageing product you will ever buy.
14. Confidence has no root in the approval of others. It’s OK for people to not like you. Judges and critics are often reacting to something they see in themselves, not you.
15. Keep friendships and relationships diverse. Different bonds fill different places of your heart and mind. You are the only person who can give yourself everything.
16. I formally viewed life as an art to be lived but as I grow older, it’s more poetry. Certain lines foreshadow others, alliterations build over years, inexplicable moments rhyme, metaphors become clear and the “aha” moments lead you to the next line.
17. Every spirit has the perfect soil to grow in. More often than not, it’s far from the place you were born.
18. Comparison is the death of creativity. Imagine if social media were thriving during the time of Austen and she compared herself to Bronte, or Michelangelo compared his art to that of Da Vinci, or Hawking compared his discoveries to Newton. Stand above that trap.
19. Bring your light with you into every room, and never allow anyone, anything or any experience to dim it.
20. A bit of advice on friendship I learned from a dear Turkish friend: don’t draw lines or try to define every relationship in life. Those who are meant for you will always come back into your life, and those who aren’t, simply already played their part.
21. You never need to explain yourself.
22. Discover one or two destinations you love and return to them year after year, rather than always chasing the world. There is beauty in knowing the settings in your story.
23. When it comes to love, it’s better to say too much rather than too little. Those few words too many will be the warm blanket when the heartache kicks in, and will protect you from the icy pangs of regret.
24. When you are in love, say you’re in love. Do not say you’re only halfway in love, nor act as such.
25. Decisiveness and unfiltered honesty are the most attractive traits in a woman. Never soften it.
26. Truly following the heart often means seeing nothing but the blackness of unknown ahead. Don’t shy away; the mind will always pave the road.
27. Life and love is anything but black and white. It’s messy, it’s splattered with red, it’s torn, and it’s taped. Be comfortable with actually living.
28. Balance town and country. There are days to get glamorous, but don’t let them outnumber the days you get muddy, your hands dirty or spend time with a sport you love.
29. Be kind, be hardworking, be curious. Always.

xx