January 20, 2018

30 Things I Learned In My 20s (So Far)

30 Lessons I learned in my 20s

My long cozy birthday weekend in Vermont has thus far been pure winter magic. I spent the morning of my birthday watching the sun rise over the glistening snowy hills, drinking an extra strong maple latte and reflecting on the lifetime mosaic of moments that led to this one.

The past year was the best type of year for a woman in her 20s: it was confusing, challenging and full of surprises. It was the year where I learned all the answers I need are within me alone. It was the year I moved to New York City, started my novel and created a true lifestyle brand. It was the year I grew into the woman I’m incredibly proud to be.

I put together a little (very personal) list of important lessons that have truly shaped me in my 20s…for every woman (or guy) out there who is having a difficult moment, remember this: you aren’t alone, your challenge is temporary and I promise that you have power to create extraordinary happiness for yourself and those you love. I hope these little lessons remind you of that.

30 Lessons I learned in my 20s

  1. Travel and be annoyingly curious. Intelligence comes from worldly experience and asking far too many questions.
  2. If anything does NOT matter in this world, it’s what other people think about you. Live fiercely. Follow your heart. Don’t always play by rules. Approval is the last thing you need.
  3. Be the brightest light into every room you walk into; you never know who needs that light.
  4. Forgive. It’s the #1 secret to aging well.
  5. Confidence & happiness are the most important beauty products.
  6. When a man loves you, he will forget about the inconvenience and chaos that comes with making that love happen. Never cross a bridge for a man who isn’t brave enough to meet you half way. 
  7. Every negative moment in life is an opportunity to grow stronger. Celebrate obstacles and challenges (especially in your 20s) because they are stepping stones to greatness.
  8. Nothing is impossible. If you have a dream and discipline, you can achieve anything in this life. Everyone who tells you otherwise has unfortunately been fooled.
  9. Learn the art of letting go gracefully. Whether it’s negative people or paths not meant for you, half of success comes from the ability to recognize when something or someone is simply not a part of your story.
  10. The death of someone you love is a pain not meant to be healed. The pain that rips through your heart is simply a space forming for that person to live in forever; they will always be a light inside of you.
  11. Romance isn’t in flowers, anniversaries or candlelight dinners. Romance is the magnetic electricity between two people that doesn’t weaken with time, distance or logistics. It’s the love that keeps growing when it shouldn’t. Romance is the distinct feeling of holy shit, I’m completely screwed when the person you’re in love with walks into the room. When you find that romance, never let it go…because I promise, it will never let go of you nor will the pain of not being with that incredible person.
  12. People can’t hurt you unless you give them consent to do so. Never allow anyone to touch the calm inside of you; it’s yours and yours alone.
  13. When you find that love, you will know. I know.
  14. When you find that love, it might not always have perfect timing. The good thing about that love is that time won’t matter.
  15. Whether you’re married or dating, maintain and nurture your independent spirit. Relationships are happiest when you fiercely respect each other’s personal growth, social circles, hobbies, families and dreams.
  16. Jealousy and envy – two feelings that should never exist in your emotional dictionary. If you want something, get it.
  17. Strong women lift other women up.
  18. When you do find yourself in a serious relationship, you still need to be able to depend on yourself. Love is needing someone because you love them, not loving them because you need them.
  19. Self-care and pampering yourself isn’t a luxury as a woman, it’s mandatory. You can only tackle the world when you feel like the queen you are.
  20. Fitness shouldn’t feel like a burden and it isn’t a one-size-fits-all program; discover activities you love and cultivate a passion for enjoying them. Your body needs that.
  21. Eat that pasta – just work it off the next day, take the stairs and do your squats. It’s that simple.
  22. Let your hair down and dance whenever you have the chance.
  23. Grandparents are the most valuable people on earth. Take time out of your busy life to spend time with them…ask them questions, talk to them about their life, ask them for advice. Write it all down because they are the keepers of every piece of wisdom and magic worth knowing about life.
  24. Read lots and lots – the TV will tell you stories, but books will educate you and create new worlds.
  25. Take the time to sit down and drink your coffee in the morning (don’t drink it on the go). Have a coffee date. You’ll never regret those extra 20 minutes.
  26. You can’t make new old friends; the friendships that stay in your corner in both fair weather and storms are worth nurturing for a lifetime.
  27. Always speak your truth. The world improves whenever a person speaks the honest truth from the crossroads of their heart and mind.  The consequences which follow were only meant to be.
  28. It’s OK to fly high and experience luxury, but you must always have your heart rooted in kindness, humbleness and gratitude. This is what makes your soul rich.
  29. Happiness comes from simplicity. It’s watching the sunrise. It’s the feeling of accomplishment. It’s a warm conversation with the person you love, and it’s the sparkle in their eye when they make you laugh.
  30. Always choose love, especially when it scares you.


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  1. Katie

    January 20th, 2018 at 12:36 pm

    What a great list – I really loved these. I am turning 30 next month and reflecting on my 20s as well and working on my list.. I always need the reminder to not care what people think and to keep loving my best life. Thank you for the reminders
    Katie @ Katie Wanders

  2. Cassandra Santoro

    January 20th, 2018 at 2:48 pm

    Wise words my friend, thanks for sharing and Auguri!

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